A man appears healthy as can be, looks younger than his actual age of 75, and may even be able to engage in polite conversation.

But behind closed doors, he’s too paranoid to be left alone, repeats the same five or six questions all day long, and has become a “shell” to his wife, Lee, who prefers not to give her full name.

“It’s almost like I’m living with a stranger … he becomes more like a stranger every day,” said Lee, a Miami County resident. “It’s all so scary.”

About five years ago, Lee’s husband developed Alzheimer’s disease.

This year, about 110,000 Hoosiers are projected to suffer from the neurodegenerative malady, which is the sixth leading cause of death in the US, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

“Those statistics are pretty staggering, and they’re only going to increase,” said Jenni Uebelhack, communications specialist at the association’s Greater Indiana Chapter.

“We have to address it, or it’s going to get worse,” Uebelhack added. “It’s a public health issue.”

Alzheimer’s generally occurs in people over age 65, and gradually breaks down brain tissue, causing people to lose their memories. One person may only live a few years with the disease, while others may survive and remain active for several decades, depending on the level of care, according to WebMD.

Lee’s step-father lived with Alzheimer’s until the age of 88. She said physically her husband is very healthy.

Scientists aren’t sure what causes the brain damage, but the symptoms originate with two forms of nerve damage: nerve cells get tangles, or plaque builds up in the brain.

The disease progresses in seven stages, from normal outward behavior to repeating the same question, forgetting what month it is, or mistaking a spouse for a parent, all the way to losing the ability to independently eat or walk, according to WebMD.

“Minute to minute it changes,” Lee said. Occasionally Lee’s husband will have “a-ha” moments, when he realizes that things are bad, but the moments are fleeting, and he returns to his forgetfulness shortly thereafter.

During National Alzheimer’s Disease Awareness Month, organizers also recognize those family members who care for someone living with the disease.

About 300,000 Indiana family members or friends have taken on the role as a caregiver for a person living with Alzheimer’s or dementia, according to the Alzheimer’s Association.

“They carry a heavy burden,” Uebelhack said.

Nearly half of dementia caregivers say that caregiving is highly stressful. Anxiety and depression levels are significantly higher for dementia caregivers vs. non-dementia caregivers.

Since they’re “substantially impacted mentally and physically,” they’re also at an increased risk for health issues. “So taking care of (yourself) is a crucial aspect of being a good caregiver,” Uebelhack said.

Among other things, the association recommends:

*Scheduling personal time

*Utilizing local resources

*Educating oneself on all aspects of the disease progression

*Preparing legally and financially

*Visiting a doctor regularly

*Managing stress.

Another aspect the association emphasizes: accepting changes as they occur, since the needs of people with Alzheimer’s change over time.

And as dementia accelerates, experts say it’s important to engage the person in conversation even when his or her ability to participate becomes more limited – which can be very challenging.

“Sometimes I get tired of entertaining,” Lee said. “My prayer is that we (as caregivers) can be patient and kind, but it’s not always possible because of human nature.”

Her daughter, whom she describes as “daddy’s little girl,” does help out, but Lee said she has kids and a life of her own to manage. Lee said she’s fortunate that she’s financially able to get help from a professional, and understands that not everyone can afford to get the help or is willing to trust someone to be part of their private life.

This feeling of wanting more help is nearly universal: four out of five people that the association has surveyed said they wanted more support in providing care, especially from a relative.

Friends or family members can offer assistance by educating themselves, keeping in touch, running errands for the family, giving the family members a reprieve by spending time with the person living with dementia, or simply offering a shoulder to lean on, the association said.

In addition, anyone interesting in getting involved can volunteer at one of Peru’s assisted living facilities, such as Blair Ridge Health Campus or Hickory Creek, or participate in Peru’s “A Walk in June” or Indianapolis’ annual “Walk to End Alzheimer’s.” The Peru event this past summer was among the top five Alzheimer’s fundraisers in the entire Hoosier state, according to the Alzheimer’s Association Greater Indiana Chapter.

Caregivers can also find local or online support groups, as well as educational programs, at https://alz.org/indiana/in_my_community_helping.asp. The association’s free, 24/7 helpline is 800-272-3900.

Near Miami County, Kokomo offers two support groups: first Thursdays at 1 p.m. at the United Way office, and third Thursdays at 6 p.m. at Community Howard Regional.

For Lee, it can often be challenging to get the time to get away, or when she does she may not want to talk about Alzheimer’s. “Sometimes I just need to get away and laugh,” she said.

She did attend a support group before, which she said was helpful, but most of the caregivers were children of aging parents, not spouses.

“It’s a totally different experience,” Lee said. “You’re living with someone you know and loved, yet, you don’t know this person.”

By chance, Lee met a woman in a similar situation out in public one day, and now they regularly chat for two hours at a time. “We’re our own little support group,” Lee said.

Lee said she recognizes how important it is to have someone to relate to – and to know that she’s not alone – because you just can’t explain to someone what you’re going through.

“Life is like a rollercoaster of emotions,” Lee said.

View the published story.